Thursday, June 29, 2006

Cranky Bitch

I have realized this week that sleep will be a privilege, not a right. I currently have two classes that are squeezing 12 weeks of information into 5 weeks. I nearly had a crying fit last night when I realized that I had to do the dishes because I didn't cook. I hadn't planned that into my schedule. I have a hard time falling asleep as it is, and if I don't get at least 6 good hours a night, I'm a cranky bitch. So, consider yourself warned, y'all, because I ain't getting enough sleep.

I've had the following thoughts in the past week:
1) quit my job immediately
2) back out on the backpacking weekend

I really don't think I can do it all, and this is just the first week. Fuck.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

First Day Anxieties

Sunday night was a nearly sleepless night. I tossed and turned and had bad dreams. In one dream, I was living in the house I grew up in, back in Ormond Beach, FL However, it was located at my current address.

I had to get to the Portland airport to fly to class. My flight left at 5:30. I had to catch a bus to PDX (the airport). It was 5:29. I finally got all my shit together and got across the street where all the big yellow school busses were waiting. By the time I got there, all but one had left. This one was going to Tigard Elementary Kindergarten. I asked the bus driver "Which Tigard Elementary Kindergarten are you going to?"

"The Tigard Elementary Kindergarten," he replied.

"But there are more than one," I said. I just wanted to know if he was going to drop me off at the school behind my house or the one in downtown Tigard.

"Look lady, this is the only bus left to pick you up. Are you getting on or not?"

So I got on, thinking I could catch a bus at the school since there are so many busses, but worried that I had already missed my flight and I was going in the opposite direction of the airport.

As the bus pulled away from the stop, I woke up. I don't know if I woke up because it was such a stressful dream, or because it was a silly dream.

Work was difficult. My closing teacher didn't do a Goddamn thing on Friday and I had to spend my one hour of paperwork time cleaning dried food off my tables, and putting toys away. I also had to pick up a dead baby bird off our sidewalk. There was a nest near our playground and we were thinking the babies would learn how to fly this weekend. Unfortunately, it was 95-100 degrees this weekend, and I think this baby may have succumed to the heat. I wanted to give it a proper burial, but it's difficult to do in a preschool yard, so he (or she) ended up in a plastic bag in the dumpster. sigh.

One of my teachers suggested I leave 5 minutes early because the bus is never on time, and usually early. She's always late to work because this is the case, so I left early. I got to the bus stop at 12:01. The bus was scheduled to arrive at 12:13. It arrived at 12:07. Had I left at 1 minute past noon, I would have almost missed the bus. I think I'll leave at 11:55 every day.

It took me a little while to find the classroom. I went the wrong way and ended up in the School of Business Administration. Ick!

My professor didn't mind that I brought my bike into class. I don't have a super chain or combo lock yet, so I'm wary of locking it up outside until I get all that stuff. I plan on doing that when I pick up my panniers at REI when they come in next week. My professor just bought himself a Trek bike over the weekend, so we had a lot to talk about.

The class doesn't seem so bad. It's Survey of Exceptional Learners. We have to do reflection papers after every class, which won't be difficult, and we have "quickie quizzes" every day. We have to do group presentations and a paper, but no final, so I'm happy.

I rode my bike all the way home yesterday. I figured I would ride until it was too hot, and then hop on the bus, but it seemed pointless. It was 100 degrees and if I stopped moving, I would just sit in heat and die. The busses don't use air conditioning on account of the price of fuel, and everyone would be stinky. So I rode. When I got home, I thought I was going to die. But I did it. I rode home in 45 minutes. Not too shabby!

Today's class is Intro to Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Ed. I'm hoping my proffessor is just as cool about bikes in class as the last one. I hope the classroom is just as large as yesterday's so I can fit my bike in it. We'll see...

Sunday, June 25, 2006

My Bicycle...


...is ready for the summer session! I took it in for a tune-up and to fix the rack. I'm using one of Navigator's panniers until mine come in. I'm so excited!

One Day to Go

I'm getting antsy. I took my bike to the Bike Gallery for a tune-up. It'll probably cost me $100 for all the adjustments. And then I need to pick out panniers. I told Navigator that I'm going to steal his, but I think I can purchase my own. Maybe I'll get them at REI so I can get the dividend.

I keep pacing my house trying to figure out everything I'm going to need tomorrow. I need to wash my cycling clothes. I need to get the oil changed on my car. I need to eat some veggies. My stomach is doing cartwheels, I'm so nervous. I'm so excited. I'm so insane.

In 24 hours, I'll be in class. Yay!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Weekend Wrap-Up

I spent a lot of time cleaning this weekend. I didn't do everything on my list, but here's how far I got on each item:

  1. Clear out my clutter - I had 4 piles of clutter to get rid of. I filed, recycled, organized and threw away enough to be down to one manageable pile that I can tackle this week.
  2. Wash laundry and put away clothing - Navigator helped me with this one. We have only a few things that still need to be ironed. Otherwise, no more laundry to be done.
  3. Figure out how to get the rack on my bike to work - I didn't get to this one.
  4. Purchase panniers and a combination lock for my bike - nor did I get to this one.
  5. Buy my books - I bought 1 book at the PSU bookstore for $100 and 5 books from Amazon for $150.
  6. Clear out the clutter in Navigator's storage unit - Didn't get around to this one.
  7. Move the desk to the third bedroom - Didn't get to do this one.
  8. Create and organize a nice study area in third bedroom - Third bedroom is clean and orgazined, but not necessarily a study area just yet.
  9. Move the wedding gifts from the shed to Navigator's storage unit - Wedding gifts still in shed, but at least they are organized.
  10. Finish writing thank-you notes for wedding gifts - Thank you notes ordered and on their way.
I think that I got the bulk of the work done this weekend. This week I'll be working on that last pile, as well as organizing my craft boxes. My yarn is out of control and I don't know where all my soap making supplies are. I need to get all that organized before September since I'll have a month break between summer & fall term to work on Christmas gifts.

One week until classes begin!! I'm so excited!

Friday, June 16, 2006

It's Done

I told my boss today. I didn't wuss out. She reacted exactly how I thought she would. Damn her for being completely understanding. She made it that much harder on me. Yeah, I feel much better, like a weight has been lifted, but still... I feel bad. I feel like I've done something to her. I know I haven't done anything to her, that I did what I need to do for me, but because she was completely understanding and not crying, screaming, gnashing her teeth, shouting "WHY?!?!" and all that other stuff, I feel bad.

I'll get over it. I'll get over it and I'll start school and I'll forget that I ever stressed out about something as silly as this low-paying job that I am over-qualified for.

In fact, in our meeting, she even mentioned that it makes more sense to take the pay cut to go to school full time for one year, rather than stay at this pay for two years, when you can make twice this pay if you get the cut for one. Wow! It's nice to have a boss who can look at things like that. In fact, I don't think that we've ever had such a good one on one before. It was refreshing...for me, at least. For her, I think she's going home to drink a bottle of wine. I should have brought one into the meeting. Dammit, I'm so insensitive.

Now that I've gotten through the hard part, I have the following things on my list to do this weekend:
  1. Clear out my clutter.
  2. Wash laundry and put away clothing.
  3. Figure out how to get the rack on my bike to work.
  4. Purchase panniers and a combination lock for my bike.
  5. Buy my books.
  6. Clear out the clutter in Navigator's storage unit.
  7. Move the desk to the third bedroom.
  8. Create and organize a nice study area in third bedroom.
  9. Move the wedding gifts from the shed to Navigator's storage unit.
  10. Finish writing thank-you notes for wedding gifts.

In addition to this, we are meeting with a realtor tomorrow morning to look at some condos (the big question is has my husband called the mortgage guy? hmmm.....) on Saturday. On Sunday, Double I is coming over to test some backpacking recipes with me. I also want to go to the Beaverton Farmer's Market, Costco & the library. How will I fit it all in? Why can't we have three day weekends every week? Oh wait! When I start school in the fall, I WILL have three day weekends every week!

Telling the Boss

Today is my one on one with my boss. I'm going to break the news to her. I had coffee with our Disabilities Services Coordinator on Tuesday, and she suggested it would be best for me to break the news now rather than wait. It makes sense. After all, I've been telling my boss that I'm not leaving even though I'm going to grad school. If I wait until the end of August to tell her, she's going to think I was lying to her the entire time. If I tell her now, I am being honest and letting her know as things come up. This will keep her on my good side and she'll be more likely to keep me on the payroll as a sub. It will also give them ample time to find someone worthy to replace me. :)

The only thing I'm concerned about is that they'll replace me before I want to be replaced. If they do that, I'll have to quit outright and find a different job. If they do that, I'll have to inform all my parents and have them make a big stink. If they do that, I'll have to contact HR and make a big stink. I guess I'm not afraid of that now.

My meeting with her is in 1 1/2 hours. I have to start practicing my speech. I'm nervous. I don't know why. I don't want to work here in this position anymore, but I still feel bad. I shouldn't. Navigator's secretary makes more than double what I make. There is another teacher in my center who has 5 years less experience than me and she makes 10 cents more an hour. I've been screwed ever since I started working here. I need to look out for me. I never look out for me, I'm such a silly bleeding heart. Not anymore. I'm going to march into her office and say "I'm sick and tired and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

I just hope I don't wuss out.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Reunion Weekend



Last weekend was my 10 year at the University of Dayton. It was a blast. The University has changed so much since I was last there - new buildings, new dorms, a new rec center, my house has been demolished for a fancy apartment complex/art studio called "ArtStreet." It made me wish I was an undergrad again, starting out at UD. the only new thing we had when I was attending school there was the Jessie Phillips Humanities Building with giant reliefs of William Shakespeare and Renee Descarts on the outside walls. Sigh.

The bookstore moved on me. It's in a new fancy-shmancy dorm and I didn't see one textbook in it. They're hidden upstairs, past all the UD logo smattered shirts, sweats, coffee mugs, travel mugs, keychains, posters, pennants, briefcases, and what-not. I purchased a $40 shirt. Just trying to do my part to help pay for all the new stuff.

I'm glad I went. It was good to see my old buddies and get back in touch with a few I'd forgotten. One of my friends is now teaching English at Western Oregon University. She lives 30 minutes south of me. We'll be doing a lot of hanging out and reciting poetry to each other this summer. I love reciting poetry. And reminiscing about Dr. Ruff. I miss that crazy old man.

Classes start in less than two weeks. I'm telling my boss tomorrow that I'm going full time. I spent most of this morning going over in my head all the possible things she can say/do to me when I tell her. I think I have all the proper arguments ready. I have a feeling she won't do anything I imagine. I have a feeling she'll be supportive. She's just that kind of lady.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I'm Doing It!

I made my decision! I'm going full time!

I went to campus on Tuesday to take care of a bunch of stuff. I got my ID and Trimet Flex Pass, turned in my proof on Measles immunization, had lunch with and got a tour of campus from my MySpace friend, and headed to the School of Ed to pick up a copy of the Full Time schedule.

The summer classes are the same for FT & PT. In the fall, the PT schedule has two classes, two days a week. The FT schedule has 4 classes, M-Th, and a once a week seminar for the practicum. The seminar is the only class that starts before 4pm. There are no classes on Friday. That's pretty much how the classes run for the year. So I can work 10-20 hours per week without stressing.

I spoke w/ Navigator when I got home. I can be put on his insurance at work for no additional cost. I can sub for Head Start and the ESD while I'm in school. That way, I can decide whether or not I have the time to work, rather than have a set schedule. And in one year, I should be licensed (or awaiting TSPC to send me my license) and working for twice what I'm making now.

I wrote my advisor to tell her of my decision and ask her who I notify to make it official.

I'm really excited about this. I can't wait for school to start. Just two weeks and four days left!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Navigator's Birthday

Friday was Navigator's birthday (that's my hubby). I spent the day with our friend Double I Foreigner and we bought special birthday outfits at Goodwill which we wore to the Rose Festival. We had a theme: 80's-type graphic T-shirts and pin striped pants.


At D.I's house before the Rose Festival

The great thing about Portland is that if you walk down the street looking like this, you won't get shot. In fact, some people might think it's the next new trend.

I wore a side ponytail, Napoleon Dynamite style! It was great fun, although the Tilt-a-Whirl was a bit of a let-down. I can't believe we paid 7 tickets for that ride!

Here are some more pics:

Luckily, I was just tall enough...

My favorite picture... Stealing a kiss on the MAX on the way home

My Advisor's Response

I got a response from my advisor. She signed her e-mail with her first name, so I don't think I offended her. Here is the e-mail I sent to her:


My husband & I have been discussing the part-time timeline the past few days and he brought up the option of me switching to full-time, provided everything with his job goes as we would hope. So I have a few questions:

1) Is it possible to switch to full-time status for the program,or is there a set number of students allowed?

2) If it is possible,when is the absolute last date that one could switch?

3) If one was to be in the full-time program, would it be too grueling for that person to sub for Head Start or as an Ed Assist. sub for the ESD for 15 or so hours per week?

Before we discuss our options any more, I'd like to know if it even is an option.

I also have another question that I started thinking about after our meeting last Tuesday. It's about getting licensed in Elementary Special Ed. as well. I know you mentioned that we could take the added classes while we're finishing up our Master's requirements.

1) What would the extra requirements be if I wanted to add that endorsement as ell?
2) Would it be a full-time or part-time load?

Thirdly, I've been thinking about the Autism certificate. I have no questions about it, I've just been thinking about it. I just wanted to give you fair warning. :)

This is the response I got today:

I think you have been doing a lot of thinking and discussing. Since the program for summer is the same for PT and FT, you can make the decision to switch as late as early September. The push will be to have a practicum placement ready in the FALL if you decide to switch. Just keep thinking and let me know.

As for adding EL to EI, that will have to wait until you complete the EI, if you switch to FT. You could take some EL classes next summer while working on your master's courses.

The autism program is a certificate, not an added endorsement.

So there you have it. I have a lot to think about. I'm going to list pros and cons and probably end up picking full time regardless because that's the way I've been feeling since orientation, but I like to make pro/con lists anyway.





Friday, June 02, 2006

Really, I am a nerd

I just had to prove what a nerd I am. Here's a picture of one of the binders I made:


I was thinking that for general information binders I would use blue colored text. For classes, maybe a red hue, and for research projects, green.

Organization

Yesterday I decided to organize my grad school stuff. I bought a bunch of 1" 3-ring binders at Costco and some sheet protectors. So far, I've created three binders:
  1. GSE Handbook - This is where the Graduate School of Education Handbook will be held. Whenever changes are made, I will switch out the pages and add what needs to be added.
  2. Licensing Requirements - This is where I will keep everything I need to submit to the TSPC for my license.
  3. PSU Information - This is my catch-all for things that I haven't filed somewhere else yet, as well as maps of the school, my schedules, tuition/payment information and what-not.

I created cool covers with clip-art icons for each one. I think I'll do the same for all my classes as well. I'm going to be a total nerd. Oh wait, I AM a total nerd. People will be jealous. Of this I am certain.

Yesterday, I sent my advisor an e-mail asking about the possiblity of switching to full-time. I don't know if I really want to, but I would like the option. I haven't heard back from her. I just realized today that in the e-mail I addressed her by her first name, rather than by her title. I hope she didn't get offended. I feel like a total shmuck.