Christmas in a Yurt

For Chirstmas this year, Navigator & I decided to spend a few days on the Oregon coast at Cape Lookout State Park. We rented a yurt for three nights, explored the cape and visited the Tillamook Cheese factory. We brought our tree, decorations, and all the presents that had arrived prior to our trip. It was an awesome Christmas!

Our tree with presents!

Dinner time!

Navigator stuck in the brush on our hike

A stormy coast

The super-cool bike-helmet-strap ear warmers that I made for Navigator

And the front view...

(notice the totally awesome sweater he's wearing... That was his present last year)

Winter Break Musings

I have been such a poor blogger this term. I had planned to blog and blog and blog about how difficult it is to go to grad school, and all the shit I am required to do and blah, blah, blah.

I never had time.

I had a lot of shit to do.

The day before my last classes, I had to finish putting together my work sample and create my transparencies for my presentation of my individual program plan for my focus child. I had purchased a package of transparencies for a presentation during summer term. I was certain they were somewhere in the house. I tore the house apart looking for the tranparencies. When Navigator came home, I was in tears. Everything had come to a halt because of the transparencies. I couldn't function. I couldn't do anything else. I screamed at him, the poor fellow. On top of that, one of the guest cats was scratching at the door to the office and it was annoying the hell out of me. Navigator left, walked to the Office Depot & purchased me new transparencies, then had dinner at John Barleycorn's, the local McMenamin's tavern, and proceeded to get drunk. When he came home to deliver the transparencies, I was too involved in my work to notice his stagger. He was pleased with himself.

I was up until 1AM putting my work sample together. I was a mess the next day, and could barely keep my eyes open in class. I was certain that I wasn't going to get straight A's this term and that I would have to re-do some sections in my work sample. I was certain that Fall Term wasn't over when we hit the bar for happy hour.

Grades were posted last week. I have a 4.0. I have no idea how I pulled that off.

Winter break has been a whirlwind of activity. I've been subbing at Head Start in the afternoons and working with a little boy who has developmental delays in the morning. It's been two weeks and I have yet to have a vacation. The mother of the little boy offered me $20/hour to work next week. I hate to have to turn her down, but I have to turn her down. I need a break.

Thinking back on Fall Term, I think it was much more difficult than summer term. I was working full time during summer term, as well as carrying a full load, but it was much easier than fall term. I have been told that Fall term is the most difficult and winter term is better. I certainly hope so.

We're staying in Portland for Christmas this year. We have no plans to do anything. I'm pretty happy about this.

Well, it's off to work, I go!

Things I'm Thankful For

It's nearly Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd post what I'm thankful for. Here goes:

• Hiking the PCT (it's where I met my honey).
• Kingston giving Navigator that beer in Snoqualamie and convincing him to stay an extra night ('cause that's the night I hiked into town).
• The fact that our roof has been re-shingled.
• The new tires on Grey Eagle.
• The fact that Grey Eagle is still running (and hopefully will run until I get a job and we can buy a new car)
• My nieces and nephews (even though I don't see them that often).
• My siblings.
• My parents and grandmothers.
• My coworkers.
• My classmates.
• My husband (of course!). He's the most wonderful man in the world.
• Double I.
• Teatree.
• All my hiking buds.
• All of my non-hiking friends.
• My kittens (past, present & future).
• My Grandpa.
• Ann Ness.
• Being in grad school.
• Lucy, Scott, Chase & Charlotte.
• Have I mentioned my honey?
• Lara Bars.
• The foot warmers my husband made me three years ago.
• The fact that I haven't had a cavity in my life.
• The fact that I haven't had an incurable disease.
• The fact that I was born in a 1st world country.
• The fact that I don't have a disability.
• The fact that I CAN backpack long-distance trails and ride my bike to work.
• Iyengar Yoga.
• My babes at work.
• My focus child & focus family.
• The team at my practicum site.
• Central Heat & Air
• Moving to Portland.
• Being alive.

That's the short list. I have more, but I need to get back to my homework. This term has kicked my ass. I've heard that this is the hardest term. Let's hope so.

Status Anxiety

I have to keep a journal for my practicum. I send it to my university supervisor every week. I'm supposed to send it on Friday, but I end up sending it Saturday afternoon or Sunday. In any case, this week I wrote about how I feel in the classroom. In my practicum classroom, I feel rigid. I feel unnatural. I feel like I'm being graded and I need to do everything correct, so I act unsure of myself.

I also work. I have stayed with Head Start as a sub, and occasionally get called in to work. Friday was one of those days. On Friday, I worked in a classroom and felt natural. I didn't feel like I was being graded nor that I had to do everything correctly, so I felt sure of myself and I'm certain that showed. At Head Start, I'm one of two people in grad school. At Head Start, I'm one of a handful who have a Bachelor's. At Head Start, I have a high status.

My University Supervisor replied to my journal entry stating that I am recognizing aspects of status anxiety, which is a bit unnerving, but a healthy process of reflection. I am fully aware of the unnerving part, and I understand that recognizing this is healthy because I can do something about it. I can recognize when I'm being rigid at my practicum site and imagine myself at Head Start. "What would the Head Start me do?" could be my mantra. I could wear a bracelet that says "WWHSMD?" as a reminder. Then maybe, just maybe, I could be myself in my practicum.

I sent a copy of my journal entry to my cooperating professional. I wanted to get her view on things, and some pointers. Also, because my mid-term observation is on Tuesday, I want her to pay close attention to my rigidity, so that I can work on that for the rest of the term.

I do have one good thing to say about status anxiety. Whenver I have anxiety, I have dreams about airplanes crashing. In one of my most memorable dreams, airplanes were falling out of the sky at the airport. I knew it was unsafe to fly, yet when they called my flight to board, I couldn't keep myself from getting on the plane. It was like trying to walk up a down escalator. I was walking away, but I was moving closer and closer to the plane. When I have anxiety, I have dreams like this. However, with status anxiety, I haven't experienced such things. I've had dreams about buying houses, going to catholic high school, painting the guest bedroom and driving Grey Eagle. They were strange dreams, indeed, but not my usual anxiety dreams.

Practicum

I've been to my practicum twice now, and I have a focus child. Things are going well. I wrote up my site description. I think it sucks because I have been to the site only twice. I'm going to ask my professor today if I can have the option to edit and re-submit my site description in two weeks when I have more time at the site. I wanted to get it in on time since I have so many other deadlines looming in the distance, I didn't want this one to bog me down as well. All of my professors have said that they will push back assignments for me since I got my practicum assignment two weeks late, but I'd rather just go along with the current deadlines. I might re-negotiate later, but for now, I'm full steam ahead.

My first presentation was yesterday. It was a group presentation on Piaget. That was fun. I learned quite a bit about the Sensory Motor stage of cognitive development. I never realized just how much an infant learns, and that only the infant can teach itself these things. It's amazing. I never liked babies that much, but because of this project, I now find them fascinating. When Navigator talks me into having one, it won't be so difficult.

I'm so far behind on my readings that I feel like there is no point to attempt to catch up. What's funny is that over the summer I kept thinking that I would have more time to do things once fall term began. I feel like I have even less time now than I did over the summer when I was working 35 hrs/week AND carrying 12 credits. I have worked 12 hours in the past two weeks. Where is all my time going?

I had some homework to do today. I thought I would have to skip yoga in order to get it all done. I finished it about an hour ago. I still don't want to go to yoga. I'm afraid I'll have to do a hand stand. I have no upper body strength. The only way to get it is by going to yoga and doing such crazy things as hand stands. When I go to yoga and do hand stands, I ache, but I feel better about myself and my ability. I also am way more relaxed. Navigator ordered me to go to yoga today because it makes me a happier person. If I can't get myself there intrinsically, I'll go by order of the husband, and I'll thank him tonight.

Difficulty Blogging

I thought I would be able to Blog over my break from school. It didn't happen. I never got my journal up on Trailjournals, so nobody knows about my near-death experience. I still haven't downloaded the pictures from my camera. One of these days... (As I say this, I'm reminded of a poem by Nimblewill Nomad).

I went back east to visit my family. Attended my brother-in-law's surprise 40th birthday party, visited friends in New York City and drank too much, and purchased some artwork from the National Gallery of Art in DC. I also finally got to see the new WWII memorial and say hello to Honest Abe when I was out there. The pictures are still on my camera.

When I returned, Paul flew out to Tahoe & I moved our stuff into our new condo because school was starting that monday and I didn't want to have to move when I was in school. We are still living out of boxes and I have no idea where our Netflix movies are packed. I took pictures, but they're still on the camera.

I'm supposed to be transcribing Teatree's journal right now. I haven't found any time. I'm thinking about mailing it to Northerner and telling him that I just can't do it. I was doing a stellar job for a while, now I suck.

School has been going well. I finally started my practicum and things are due soon. I'm beginning to freak out, but I think I'll get over it soon. I've started to eat more chocolate.

I go to yoga every Wednesday. My instructor kicked me out of level 1, so now I'm in level 2. I'm glad I'm in level 2. It's difficult and some times I think how much I really hate it, but in the end, I love it. I can do a head balance (it looks like a head stand, but you're not really standing on your head, you're just balancing on it. All of the weight is on your shoulders and upper body on account of the fact that it's not safe to put all that weight on your head and neck). AND I am almost able to do a hand stand. It's amazingly difficult and my body screams the next day, but I feel good that I'm actually gaining upper body strength.

I rode my bike 21 miles yesterday. On my way home from class, the battery for my headlight died. I was pissed. That's not safe, especially when it gets very dark pretty early.

We are fostering cats right now. My friend Leticia has a friend who is taking care of her daughter's cats. Her apartment complex gave her an ultimatum and she needed a safe haven for the kitties until her daughter gets back from Germany next month. Since I was fortunate enough to have people take care of my kitties when I needed it, we decided to do the same. So, now we have two sweet kitties, a mom & her daughter, Zelda and Gordis. They're spanish speaking cats. Luckily I know a little spanish, so I can get them to come to me by saying "Ven aqui!" They are spoiled kitties. Their collars have rhinestone initials on them, they have a big fluffy bed, two scratching posts and a special thing that hooks on the window sill so they can sit and look out the window. Sweet babies! I'll take pictures and leave them on my camera for a couple weeks.

We're going to fix up the guest bedroom for the cats since they are our first houseguests. Right now it's full of boxes. :)

Goat Rocks Backpacking Ordeal

I returned Monday night one day early from my backpacking trip to the Goat Rocks with my friend Sharon. I'm still processing everything that happened. Saturday and Sunday were wonderful days. Monday was "The Ordeal," which is what we are calling it. I will be posting my journal to www.trailjournals.com/belcher06 later this week. The following Woody Guthrie song pretty much sums up our last day. These were lyrics Woody wrote, but never put to music. Ellis Paul put them to music and does quite a job with it. Enjoy...

God's Promise

I didn't promise you skies painted blue
Not all colored flowers all your days through
I didn't promise you sun with no rain
Joys without sorrows, peace without pain.

All that I promise is strength for this day,
Rest for my worker, and light on your way.
I give you truth when you need it, my help from above,
Undying friendship, my unfailing love.

I never did promise you crowns without trials,
Food with no hard sweat, your tears without smiles,
Hot sunny days without cold wintry snows,
No vict'ry without fightin', no laughs without woes.

All that I promise is strength for this day,
Rest for my worker, my light on your way,
I give you truth when you need it, my help from above,
Undying friendship, my unfailing love.

I sure didn't say I'd give you heaven on earth,
A life with no labor no struggles no deaths,
No earthquakes no dryspells, no fire flames no droughts,
No slaving no hungers, no blizzards no blights.

All that I promise is strength for this day,
Rest for my worker, my light on your way,
I give you truth when you need it, my help from above,
Undying friendship, my unfailing love.

I promise you power, this minute this hour,
The power you need when you fall down to bleed,
I give you my peace, and my strength to pull home
My love for all races all creeds and all kinds.

My flavors my saviors my creeds of all kinds,
My love for my saviors, all colors all kinds,
My love for my races all creeders all kinds,
My saviors my flavors my dancers all kinds,
My dancers my prancers my singers all kinds,
My flavors my saviors my dancers all kinds.

New Words by Woody Guthrie
Music by Ellis Paul
Words © Copyright 2001 by Woody Guthrie Publications, Inc

Other Exciting Reads

On Friday, I plan on hiking the section of the PCT I skipped in 2003 due to a fire. I have to skip a section this year due to a fire. One of these days, I'm going to complete the entire freakin' trail...

I'm keeping a trailjournal. I've posted to it a few times in the past three days. This is my first advertisement of the trailjournal. However, I have had 350 hits already. People are weird. My trailjournal is not funny.

Because I no longer have school, I can finally introduce the blogs that are on my blogroll. Drumroll please...

My first blog is A Sort of Notebook by Nina Baxley. It's a fun little daily journal of my friend, who is a writer, pianist and aspiring half-marathon runner.

The second is The Adventures of Scott, AKA "Batteries Included." This is a personal blog of a fellow PCT thru-hiker living in Wisconsin. He has some amazing pictures of the PCT up there.

The Adventures of the Painted Ladies is an adventure blog that my friend Double I and I put together to log our fun and wacky adventures. We have a quite a few contributors to the blog.

My cousin Jason has two blogs. Dispatches from a lost student's mind details his thoughts and ramblings about his life in college. He'll be entering his Sophomore year at Stanford in the fall. He's brilliant and is thinking about becoming a neurosurgeon. His second blog, Hilarity, is a log of funny video clips he's found on the internet that he finds amusing. It's a blog typical of a college dude.

My friend from the AT, Bear Bag, is currently cycling across the US. He's blogging about it at Gary Buffington's Bike Ride Across America.

Letters from Lisa is a blog about issues in special education, and how to handle being a parent of a child with special needs.

What's the Point? is my brother's seemingly forgotten blog that is rather funny. I don't know if he will ever post to it again, but what's up there so far is mint.

I got A's in my last two classes and work will be over soon. I'm feeling good!

This Is Bad

I just read my Google Horoscope. It's bad when your Google Horoscope is correct. This must mean the world is about to end. Here's my Google Horoscope:

You are on a pendulum now, swinging back and forth between the responsibilities in your life and your desire to escape from them. Hopefully you aren't planning on a day of easy relaxation, for your life can now be fraught with complicated choices, especially about relationships. Your sense of identity is being challenged but if you just act with kindness, others will accept you.

I want to escape from Hell, Part 2. I have just a few more classes left, but still. It sucks. I'm ready for my backpacking trip.

Hey Asshole in the silver Mazda!!

Sometimes I wish I had a horn on my bike. Not one of those silly bells, but a horn that's as loud (or louder) than a car horn. Maybe one that says "HEY ASSHOLE" since that's usually what I scream at the people who make me feel like my life may end when I'm riding my bike.

For instance, I was on the scary bridge on Barbur Blvd. today. It is scary in that there is no bike lane and the sidewalk is raised and the width of my rear end. There is a big yellow sign that boldly cautions the cars travelling at 45+ mph that bikes are on the bridge since it is obvious that it is too dangerous to ride a bike on the elevated sidewalk. There are two lanes travelling the same direction on this bridge. It seems obvious to me that if there was a slow-moving vehicle in the right-hand lane, I would get into the left-hand lane to go around said slow-moving vehicle. For some reason, people who drive cars at 45+ mph on this bridge think that it's quite alright and safe to pass the slow-moving vehicle with six inches (or less) of space between them.

That is why I wish I had a big horn. Right now, I scream, but my voice is not as strong as most car horns. In fact, I doubt that it's a strong as a bicycle bell.

What would be even better would be a bicycle horn that had more than one "beep" that you could program yourself to say different things. It could be on your handlebars, close to your gear shifters so you wouldn't have to move too much to blow it. Imagine if with a flick of your thumb, you could have your horn say "Hey buddy, that's a parking lane, not a bike lane. I'm obeying the law! What about you?" or "Yeah, I have a horn too. However, your horn doesn't tell me that you're about to cut me off, so maybe you should just wait two seconds you stupid Tri-Met bus driver!" or "Yes, I may be stopped, but you don't have the right to pull into my lane to make a right hand turn in front of me. Back it up shithead!"

Maybe it's the stress of school rubbing off. Maybe it's because I generally suffer from road rage and since I don't drive much anymore, it's translating to my cycling. Either way, I wish I had a third arm so I could just give people the finger while I'm riding. That would make my commute so much better.

4.0

I got my grades from Hell, Part I. I got A's in both classes! I think the Tom Petty concert this weekend is well deserved. And I think I just might have to buy myself the new Tom Petty album. And go to Sweet Tomatoes.

Oh shit! I just realized that I forgot to pack my lunch today.

Hot For Hubby

So I wrote a post yesterday (which I just deleted) about my lack of concentration in class over the fact that my professor is hot. When my husband came home, I attacked him. I think that the similarities in their appearance simply renewed my infatuation, lust, desire, etc. for my husband. I'm totally hot for hubby right now. It was difficult to let him go to work today.

My professor is short (though, not at short as Navigator). He has dark brown hair and a beard. If he was in the same room as my husband, along with a bunch of other people, and I described my husband to a stranger, they might see my professor and think he's my husband. I checked out Navigator this morning. I mean, really checked him out. He's way hotter than my professor.

I think I've just been really stressed out with school that I haven't had time to think about just how unbelieveably attracted I am to my husband. We've been married for almost a year, but we've been together for three. You'd think that by now, we would be past the stage where we can't keep our hands off each other, and be in the happily comfortable stage. I thought that's where we were last week because I wasn't feeling totally crazy about him.

It took the cute professor to get me going again. That's why I think it was stress from school. I just have 3 1/2 weeks left, then a week of work. After that, I'll have a month of no responsibility and all the time in the world to be crazy about my husband.

A Meme

I was tagged for a meme by Waterfall. I've never done one before, so we'll see what happens...


The "4" Meme

4 jobs you've had:

1. Hot Shot Investment Banker
2. Campus Security
3. Database Administrator
4. Papa John's Pizza Shift Manager

4 movies you could watch over & over:

1. Casablanca
2. Office Space
3. Walk
4. Monty Python's Holy Grail

4 places you've lived:

1. Cranford, NJ
2. Raytown, MO
3. Plaquemine, LA
4. Stockton, CA

4 TV shows you love to watch:

1. Stargate SG-1
2. Veronica Mars
3. Smallville
4. The Biggest Loser (Although I'm not sure that's on anymore. When it was on, I loved watching it)

4 places you've been on holiday:

1. The Appalachian Trail
2. The Pacific Crest Trail
3. Alaska
4. Vancouver Island

4 websites you visit daily:

1. google.com
2. weather.com
3. myspace.com
4. craigslist.com

4 of your favorite foods:

1. applesauce
2. bagels (really, it's any bread product, but bagels are my favorite. Of that category, NJ bagels win.)
3. berries
4. popcorn

4 places you'd rather be:

1. In a house with air conditioning (we're on the downside of a heat wave)
2. In the woods
3. At the beach
4. In Colville, working on our property

4 lucky people to tag:

I'm new to this blogging world, so I'm going to pick the only blogging people I know (and I know I can't tag waterfall again...). Hopefully at least one person will respond...

1. Double I
2. Gloves
3. Bear Bag
4. Batteries Included

Cycle Oregon - The Weekend

This weekend, temps got into the 100's. Instead of sitting in front of the fan, sipping iced tea and lemonade, my husband & I joined the Cycle Oregon weekend ride from Eugene to Oakland.

It would have been a fairly easy ride, if it was 30 degrees cooler. There weren't too many major climbs and it was mostly flat. Saturday morning, it was cloudy for most of the day, but Sunday was brutal. Navigator nearly succumbed to the heat. I had to wrap him in cold, wet towels to cool him off. I had a headache Saturday night, but only because I didn't drink enough water.

The town of Oakland was fun. I don't think they have one stop sign in their downtown area. We camped on the ball fields at the high school. The high school and the elementary school share the same grounds, cafeteria and multi-purpose room. The elementary school has about 8 classrooms and one bathroom. That's how small this town is.

Downtown, there was one tavern (which was closed) and a soda shop/restaurant/bar, one hardware store that sells everything and a grocery store about the size of a 7-11. Every other building in town was an antique shop. In fact, the soda shop/restaurant/bar also sells antiques. What is it about small towns and antique shops? I don't get it.

I didn't take too many pictures on account of the heat and the fact that we were kinda miserable. I also packed the camera in our overnight bags on Sunday, so I didn't even have it during the ride yesterday.

I have ass rash on the crease where my butt meets my legs. I'm not looking forward to riding to work today.

The good news is that I found my I-Pod on Friday. The bad news is that one of our kittens, Cholla, succumbed to the heat and passed away this weekend. She had been losing weight for a week and was failing to thrive to begin with. My roommate had to work until 10 and when she came home, Cholla was in bad shape. She was seizing every so often, and hadn't had any water or food all day. She finally passed at 3am. Reuben is 1.5 pounds, Meesha is 1 pound, and when Cholla died, she was less than 1/2 a pound. She was also the runt of the litter. She was part siamese, and some cats in heat will have more than one partner. This means that Mom probably had a siamese partner a while after her first, and Cholla was probably a premie, so her chances were already slim. I miss her. She was super sweet.

We still have Reuben and Meesha. Reuben is currently attacking the cords on the computer. Silly kitty!

Good News... and Some Bad

The good news is that I need to get only 5 points (out of 15) on my final today to get an A in the class.

The bad news is that I seem to have misplaced my I-Pod. I honestly can't remember the last time I had it. I think it was at work on Friday. I hope it is still at work, under a bunch of stuff on my desk. It's not in my car. I just hope I didn't put it on top of my car before I left work and drove off. Shit. I hate it when my mind is so cluttered, I can't remember a damn thing.

Hell, Part 1

On Thursday at 4:50pm, Hell, Part 1 will officially be over. We will celebrate with happy hour, then go home, recouperate, read two chapters in a new book and return on Monday for Hell, Part 2.

What is this Hell in Two Parts? It's the Summer Session of the PSU Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Ed Grad Program. This is the idea:

Take two classes that usually meet four hours per week in 12 weeks, and shrink them into two classes that meet eight hours per week in four weeks. Follow that up with another round, and you have Hell in Two Parts.

The only good thing about it is that after Thursday, I will be on the downhill side. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and my only hope is that it has a 3.5 (or better) dancing in it.

Students with Deafness and Hearing Loss Presentation

Tomorrow is my group presentation on Students with Deafness and Hearing Loss. I'm exhausted, but I'm almost finished. I was hoping that my sister-in-law would have the time to put together a first-hand account on being a parent of a child with hearing loss, but I haven't heard from her. She probably has a lot to do besides my homework. Luckily, she kept a journal of my niece's progress, so I think I'll print it out tomorrow morning and just make that supplemental material.

In the mean time, I've created beautiful transparencies, a Deaf Time Line and a most wonderful outline that will wow our professor (at least I hope). I know I'm putting more work into this than I need to, but I can't help it. I am a perfectionist.

I have strong feelings about my professor, textbook and the class in general, but I have neither the time nor the energy to express such thoughts. Right now, I must put all my stuff together, take a shower, turn off the lights, kiss the kittens and go to bed.

More Pictures of Kittens

I couldn't get these pictures to upload on my last post.

Kittens sleeping in their corral. From top to bottom: Reuben, Cholla & Meesha

Meesha tangled in my backpack strap!

Who Wants a Kitten?

The Shmuffinator passed away last month. He'd been having digestive tract problems that got complicated into kidney trouble and eventually complete shut-down. It was difficult in that the kidney problems and shut-down happened so quickly that we were pretty surprised when the vet gave us the choice to euthanize or put him through more trauma to attempt to keep him alive for another couple months. He's been creamated and sits next to Rocky Cat on my dresser.
I decided that I didn't want to get into another relationship with a cat in the near future. However, my roommate wanted one, but wasn't sure if she could make a long-term commitment. We decided that she should foster cats. She signed up with the Cat Adoption Team. We got our first set of kittens w/ mom on Friday. They'll be with us for the next 4-6 weeks. While they were in the shelter last week, they all lost weight and mom stopped eating because it was so stressful on them. Since coming here, they have all been nursing very well and mom has eaten quite a lot. We haven't seen much weight gain yet, but that'll probably take a week.

We've named them Reuben, Meesha and Cholla. Mom is Sheba, though she was misnamed. When Heidi went to pick up the cats, she was told that she was getting an all black set. She thought that an all black cat would make a cool Sheba, so when the woman asked her what she wanted to name the mom, she said "Sheba." Then she got the tuxedo cat and it was too late.

Sheba is about two years old and she likes to play. She isn't as active as a normal two year old right now because she's nursing and needs to keep her strength to make milk. However, she does like to play with the little yarn toys we've made for the kittens. She's also a big lover. She sleeps at the foot of Heidi's bed every night and likes to be around people. She hates to be locked in the spare bedroom alone with the kittens. She will make a wonderful lap cat for somebody.

Here's a picture of the sweet lumps of fluff. If you are in the Portland area and may be interested in adopting a kitten or cat, let me know!

Mama nursing her kittens

Philosopy of Teaching

We have an assignment due in my Intro to EI/ECSE class today. We have to write our philosophy of teaching. We weren't given any guidelines. In fact, none of my assignments so far have had any guidelines, except for amount of pages. My philosophy of teaching is to be a page or less, double spaced. This is my first draft. My instructor will look it over, make comments, and I will use those comments to rework my philosophy and turn it in to another instructor in another class. The idea is that by the time I'm finished with the licensure program, I will have a lengthy philosophy of teaching that is succint and solid. So, here it is folks, Delphi's current short but sweet philosophy of teaching:

Learning is a continual process of which every human being is capable. Everyone acquires skills and knowledge at different paces. No one pace is correct. The pace is correct only to that individual, as one must master a certain set of skills before moving on to the next.

As a teacher, I hope to foster a lifelong love of learning in my students. Therefore, it is my duty to help the students in the mastery of each set of skills, determined by their pace. If I require that a student who is learning at a slower pace learn at the pace of her peers, she may lose self esteem and any desire to continue to learn. Conversely, if I require that a student who has mastered a set of skills to continue to practice those skills without building on them while his peers reach the same level of mastery, the student may lose his desire to learn because of boredom.

In order to attain such goals, it is important that a teacher form a partnership with parents. Parents are a child’s first teachers. As such, they have a wealth of information about the student’s strengths and learning needs. I believe that supporting a parent’s role as the first and continuing teacher and advocate for their child is vitally important to the success of a child’s learning. If a parent does not get that support and their interest in their child’s learning is lost, the child’s own desire to learn may be wasted.

Cranky Bitch

I have realized this week that sleep will be a privilege, not a right. I currently have two classes that are squeezing 12 weeks of information into 5 weeks. I nearly had a crying fit last night when I realized that I had to do the dishes because I didn't cook. I hadn't planned that into my schedule. I have a hard time falling asleep as it is, and if I don't get at least 6 good hours a night, I'm a cranky bitch. So, consider yourself warned, y'all, because I ain't getting enough sleep.

I've had the following thoughts in the past week:
1) quit my job immediately
2) back out on the backpacking weekend

I really don't think I can do it all, and this is just the first week. Fuck.

First Day Anxieties

Sunday night was a nearly sleepless night. I tossed and turned and had bad dreams. In one dream, I was living in the house I grew up in, back in Ormond Beach, FL However, it was located at my current address.

I had to get to the Portland airport to fly to class. My flight left at 5:30. I had to catch a bus to PDX (the airport). It was 5:29. I finally got all my shit together and got across the street where all the big yellow school busses were waiting. By the time I got there, all but one had left. This one was going to Tigard Elementary Kindergarten. I asked the bus driver "Which Tigard Elementary Kindergarten are you going to?"

"The Tigard Elementary Kindergarten," he replied.

"But there are more than one," I said. I just wanted to know if he was going to drop me off at the school behind my house or the one in downtown Tigard.

"Look lady, this is the only bus left to pick you up. Are you getting on or not?"

So I got on, thinking I could catch a bus at the school since there are so many busses, but worried that I had already missed my flight and I was going in the opposite direction of the airport.

As the bus pulled away from the stop, I woke up. I don't know if I woke up because it was such a stressful dream, or because it was a silly dream.

Work was difficult. My closing teacher didn't do a Goddamn thing on Friday and I had to spend my one hour of paperwork time cleaning dried food off my tables, and putting toys away. I also had to pick up a dead baby bird off our sidewalk. There was a nest near our playground and we were thinking the babies would learn how to fly this weekend. Unfortunately, it was 95-100 degrees this weekend, and I think this baby may have succumed to the heat. I wanted to give it a proper burial, but it's difficult to do in a preschool yard, so he (or she) ended up in a plastic bag in the dumpster. sigh.

One of my teachers suggested I leave 5 minutes early because the bus is never on time, and usually early. She's always late to work because this is the case, so I left early. I got to the bus stop at 12:01. The bus was scheduled to arrive at 12:13. It arrived at 12:07. Had I left at 1 minute past noon, I would have almost missed the bus. I think I'll leave at 11:55 every day.

It took me a little while to find the classroom. I went the wrong way and ended up in the School of Business Administration. Ick!

My professor didn't mind that I brought my bike into class. I don't have a super chain or combo lock yet, so I'm wary of locking it up outside until I get all that stuff. I plan on doing that when I pick up my panniers at REI when they come in next week. My professor just bought himself a Trek bike over the weekend, so we had a lot to talk about.

The class doesn't seem so bad. It's Survey of Exceptional Learners. We have to do reflection papers after every class, which won't be difficult, and we have "quickie quizzes" every day. We have to do group presentations and a paper, but no final, so I'm happy.

I rode my bike all the way home yesterday. I figured I would ride until it was too hot, and then hop on the bus, but it seemed pointless. It was 100 degrees and if I stopped moving, I would just sit in heat and die. The busses don't use air conditioning on account of the price of fuel, and everyone would be stinky. So I rode. When I got home, I thought I was going to die. But I did it. I rode home in 45 minutes. Not too shabby!

Today's class is Intro to Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Ed. I'm hoping my proffessor is just as cool about bikes in class as the last one. I hope the classroom is just as large as yesterday's so I can fit my bike in it. We'll see...

My Bicycle...

...is ready for the summer session! I took it in for a tune-up and to fix the rack. I'm using one of Navigator's panniers until mine come in. I'm so excited!

One Day to Go

I'm getting antsy. I took my bike to the Bike Gallery for a tune-up. It'll probably cost me $100 for all the adjustments. And then I need to pick out panniers. I told Navigator that I'm going to steal his, but I think I can purchase my own. Maybe I'll get them at REI so I can get the dividend.

I keep pacing my house trying to figure out everything I'm going to need tomorrow. I need to wash my cycling clothes. I need to get the oil changed on my car. I need to eat some veggies. My stomach is doing cartwheels, I'm so nervous. I'm so excited. I'm so insane.

In 24 hours, I'll be in class. Yay!

Weekend Wrap-Up

I spent a lot of time cleaning this weekend. I didn't do everything on my list, but here's how far I got on each item:

1. Clear out my clutter - I had 4 piles of clutter to get rid of. I filed, recycled, organized and threw away enough to be down to one manageable pile that I can tackle this week.
   
2. Wash laundry and put away clothing - Navigator helped me with this one. We have only a few things that still need to be ironed. Otherwise, no more laundry to be done.
   
3. Figure out how to get the rack on my bike to work - I didn't get to this one.
   
4. Purchase panniers and a combination lock for my bike - nor did I get to this one.
   
5. Buy my books - I bought 1 book at the PSU bookstore for $100 and 5 books from Amazon for $150.
   
6. Clear out the clutter in Navigator's storage unit - Didn't get around to this one.
   
7. Move the desk to the third bedroom - Didn't get to do this one.
   
8. Create and organize a nice study area in third bedroom - Third bedroom is clean and orgazined, but not necessarily a study area just yet.
   
9. Move the wedding gifts from the shed to Navigator's storage unit - Wedding gifts still in shed, but at least they are organized.
   
10. Finish writing thank-you notes for wedding gifts - Thank you notes ordered and on their way.

I think that I got the bulk of the work done this weekend. This week I'll be working on that last pile, as well as organizing my craft boxes. My yarn is out of control and I don't know where all my soap making supplies are. I need to get all that organized before September since I'll have a month break between summer & fall term to work on Christmas gifts.

One week until classes begin!! I'm so excited!

It's Done

I told my boss today. I didn't wuss out. She reacted exactly how I thought she would. Damn her for being completely understanding. She made it that much harder on me. Yeah, I feel much better, like a weight has been lifted, but still... I feel bad. I feel like I've done something to her. I know I haven't done anything to her, that I did what I need to do for me, but because she was completely understanding and not crying, screaming, gnashing her teeth, shouting "WHY?!?!" and all that other stuff, I feel bad.

I'll get over it. I'll get over it and I'll start school and I'll forget that I ever stressed out about something as silly as this low-paying job that I am over-qualified for.

In fact, in our meeting, she even mentioned that it makes more sense to take the pay cut to go to school full time for one year, rather than stay at this pay for two years, when you can make twice this pay if you get the cut for one. Wow! It's nice to have a boss who can look at things like that. In fact, I don't think that we've ever had such a good one on one before. It was refreshing...for me, at least. For her, I think she's going home to drink a bottle of wine. I should have brought one into the meeting. Dammit, I'm so insensitive.

Now that I've gotten through the hard part, I have the following things on my list to do this weekend:

1. Clear out my clutter.
2. Wash laundry and put away clothing.
3. Figure out how to get the rack on my bike to work.
4. Purchase panniers and a combination lock for my bike.
5. Buy my books.
6. Clear out the clutter in Navigator's storage unit.
7. Move the desk to the third bedroom.
8. Create and organize a nice study area in third bedroom.
9. Move the wedding gifts from the shed to Navigator's storage unit.
10. Finish writing thank-you notes for wedding gifts.

In addition to this, we are meeting with a realtor tomorrow morning to look at some condos (the big question is has my husband called the mortgage guy? hmmm.....) on Saturday. On Sunday, Double I is coming over to test some backpacking recipes with me. I also want to go to the Beaverton Farmer's Market, Costco & the library. How will I fit it all in? Why can't we have three day weekends every week? Oh wait! When I start school in the fall, I WILL have three day weekends every week!

Telling the Boss

Today is my one on one with my boss. I'm going to break the news to her. I had coffee with our Disabilities Services Coordinator on Tuesday, and she suggested it would be best for me to break the news now rather than wait. It makes sense. After all, I've been telling my boss that I'm not leaving even though I'm going to grad school. If I wait until the end of August to tell her, she's going to think I was lying to her the entire time. If I tell her now, I am being honest and letting her know as things come up. This will keep her on my good side and she'll be more likely to keep me on the payroll as a sub. It will also give them ample time to find someone worthy to replace me. :)

The only thing I'm concerned about is that they'll replace me before I want to be replaced. If they do that, I'll have to quit outright and find a different job. If they do that, I'll have to inform all my parents and have them make a big stink. If they do that, I'll have to contact HR and make a big stink. I guess I'm not afraid of that now.

My meeting with her is in 1 1/2 hours. I have to start practicing my speech. I'm nervous. I don't know why. I don't want to work here in this position anymore, but I still feel bad. I shouldn't. Navigator's secretary makes more than double what I make. There is another teacher in my center who has 5 years less experience than me and she makes 10 cents more an hour. I've been screwed ever since I started working here. I need to look out for me. I never look out for me, I'm such a silly bleeding heart. Not anymore. I'm going to march into her office and say "I'm sick and tired and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

I just hope I don't wuss out.

Reunion Weekend

Last weekend was my 10 year at the University of Dayton. It was a blast. The University has changed so much since I was last there - new buildings, new dorms, a new rec center, my house has been demolished for a fancy apartment complex/art studio called "ArtStreet." It made me wish I was an undergrad again, starting out at UD. the only new thing we had when I was attending school there was the Jessie Phillips Humanities Building with giant reliefs of William Shakespeare and Renee Descarts on the outside walls. Sigh.

The bookstore moved on me. It's in a new fancy-shmancy dorm and I didn't see one textbook in it. They're hidden upstairs, past all the UD logo smattered shirts, sweats, coffee mugs, travel mugs, keychains, posters, pennants, briefcases, and what-not. I purchased a $40 shirt. Just trying to do my part to help pay for all the new stuff.

I'm glad I went. It was good to see my old buddies and get back in touch with a few I'd forgotten. One of my friends is now teaching English at Western Oregon University. She lives 30 minutes south of me. We'll be doing a lot of hanging out and reciting poetry to each other this summer. I love reciting poetry. And reminiscing about Dr. Ruff. I miss that crazy old man.

Classes start in less than two weeks. I'm telling my boss tomorrow that I'm going full time. I spent most of this morning going over in my head all the possible things she can say/do to me when I tell her. I think I have all the proper arguments ready. I have a feeling she won't do anything I imagine. I have a feeling she'll be supportive. She's just that kind of lady.

I'm Doing It!

I made my decision! I'm going full time!

I went to campus on Tuesday to take care of a bunch of stuff. I got my ID and Trimet Flex Pass, turned in my proof on Measles immunization, had lunch with and got a tour of campus from my MySpace friend, and headed to the School of Ed to pick up a copy of the Full Time schedule.

The summer classes are the same for FT & PT. In the fall, the PT schedule has two classes, two days a week. The FT schedule has 4 classes, M-Th, and a once a week seminar for the practicum. The seminar is the only class that starts before 4pm. There are no classes on Friday. That's pretty much how the classes run for the year. So I can work 10-20 hours per week without stressing.

I spoke w/ Navigator when I got home. I can be put on his insurance at work for no additional cost. I can sub for Head Start and the ESD while I'm in school. That way, I can decide whether or not I have the time to work, rather than have a set schedule. And in one year, I should be licensed (or awaiting TSPC to send me my license) and working for twice what I'm making now.

I wrote my advisor to tell her of my decision and ask her who I notify to make it official.

I'm really excited about this. I can't wait for school to start. Just two weeks and four days left!!

Navigator's Birthday

Friday was Navigator's birthday (that's my hubby). I spent the day with our friend Double I Foreigner and we bought special birthday outfits at Goodwill which we wore to the Rose Festival. We had a theme: 80's-type graphic T-shirts and pin striped pants.

At D.I's house before the Rose Festival

The great thing about Portland is that if you walk down the street looking like this, you won't get shot. In fact, some people might think it's the next new trend.

I wore a side ponytail, Napoleon Dynamite style! It was great fun, although the Tilt-a-Whirl was a bit of a let-down. I can't believe we paid 7 tickets for that ride!

Here are some more pics:

Luckily, I was just tall enough...

My favorite picture... Stealing a kiss on the MAX on the way home

My Advisor's Response

I got a response from my advisor. She signed her e-mail with her first name, so I don't think I offended her. Here is the e-mail I sent to her:

My husband & I have been discussing the part-time timeline the past few days and he brought up the option of me switching to full-time, provided everything with his job goes as we would hope. So I have a few questions:

1) Is it possible to switch to full-time status for the program,or is there a set number of students allowed?

2) If it is possible,when is the absolute last date that one could switch?

3) If one was to be in the full-time program, would it be too grueling for that person to sub for Head Start or as an Ed Assist. sub for the ESD for 15 or so hours per week?

Before we discuss our options any more, I'd like to know if it even is an option.

I also have another question that I started thinking about after our meeting last Tuesday. It's about getting licensed in Elementary Special Ed. as well. I know you mentioned that we could take the added classes while we're finishing up our Master's requirements.

1) What would the extra requirements be if I wanted to add that endorsement as ell?
2) Would it be a full-time or part-time load?

Thirdly, I've been thinking about the Autism certificate. I have no questions about it, I've just been thinking about it. I just wanted to give you fair warning. :)

This is the response I got today:

I think you have been doing a lot of thinking and discussing. Since the program for summer is the same for PT and FT, you can make the decision to switch as late as early September. The push will be to have a practicum placement ready in the FALL if you decide to switch. Just keep thinking and let me know.

As for adding EL to EI, that will have to wait until you complete the EI, if you switch to FT. You could take some EL classes next summer while working on your master's courses.

The autism program is a certificate, not an added endorsement.

So there you have it. I have a lot to think about. I'm going to list pros and cons and probably end up picking full time regardless because that's the way I've been feeling since orientation, but I like to make pro/con lists anyway.

Really, I am a nerd

I just had to prove what a nerd I am. Here's a picture of one of the binders I made:


I was thinking that for general information binders I would use blue colored text. For classes, maybe a red hue, and for research projects, green.

Organization

Yesterday I decided to organize my grad school stuff. I bought a bunch of 1" 3-ring binders at Costco and some sheet protectors. So far, I've created three binders:

1. GSE Handbook - This is where the Graduate School of Education Handbook will be held. Whenever changes are made, I will switch out the pages and add what needs to be added.
2. Licensing Requirements - This is where I will keep everything I need to submit to the TSPC for my license.
3. PSU Information - This is my catch-all for things that I haven't filed somewhere else yet, as well as maps of the school, my schedules, tuition/payment information and what-not.

I created cool covers with clip-art icons for each one. I think I'll do the same for all my classes as well. I'm going to be a total nerd. Oh wait, I AM a total nerd. People will be jealous. Of this I am certain.

Yesterday, I sent my advisor an e-mail asking about the possiblity of switching to full-time. I don't know if I really want to, but I would like the option. I haven't heard back from her. I just realized today that in the e-mail I addressed her by her first name, rather than by her title. I hope she didn't get offended. I feel like a total shmuck.

Orientation Day

Last night was orientation for the Graduate School of Special Ed. It started with a tour of the School of Ed building. That was nice, but I already knew where that was. I wanted to know where the bookstore was, and where I could get a locker and lock up my bike in a safe place where it wouldn't get stolen. I got none of that.

I met a woman on the tour who is also in the Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Ed program. It was nice to meet someone in my program who I'm going to have a lot of classes with. She took the Human Development course at PSU so she knows her way around a little better than I do. She knows where the bookstore is.

After the tour, we had a powerpoint presentation on the whole licensure process and Master's Degree process. I was alarmed to find out that after two years, I won't have a Master's Degree. I'll be licensed to teach, but I'll be 6-9 credits shy of a Master's Degree. If I did the full time program, I would still have the same problem. This was something I wasn't aware of because I didn't get an advising session before I applied. Everything I learned about the program, I learned from their website.

If I had been privy to this information, I probably wouldn't have been so upset by it when I found out last night. The idea of spending more than 2 years in Portland sickens me. I don't know why. I like it here. I'm making some good friends, but I want to leave ASAP. I also want to cycle the Lewis & Clark Trail as well as the Coast Trail. How on earth will I fit that in?

We had a presentation from the current class on how to deal with the pressure. It was good advice -- relax, socialize, get the stress out, ask questions, copy everything, keep up with your hobbies, etc. blah blah blah. Everyone seemed so smart. Smarter than me.

We met with our cohort after that. Most of the people in my cohort are full time. They all seem interesting. I think it's because I don't know any of them, so of course they are interesting to me. One woman is getting married in December. Now there is one brave woman. It will be interesting to watch.

After orientation, I walked out of the union with the first woman I met. I had no idea where I was. I followed her. She was parked a block away from my bus stop, so we walked together. It was good that we did, because she pointed out that my bus stop is right next to the bookstore. At least one question was answered last night.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle work while I'm going to school. It will be interesting to see how things go this summer. I think I might want to be just an ed. assistant at the ESD. I don't think it will be as stressful. I probably should have taken that job last year. Oh well, hindsight...

Newest Member of the PSU Grad School Community

I got my acceptance letter yesterday, just in time to go drinking for St. Patty's day. That was nice. I'm finally able to fantasize about grad school, which is what I had forbidden myself to do until I got my letter (because I didn't want to celebrate early and like, fall on my face and end up with the silver). So now, I'm celebrating and fantasizing and realizing that we need to clean out the third bedroom and create a cool study area and I really am not looking forward to that. So I'll just think about how I'm going to quit my job at the end of the summer. Good times!

The Grad School Interview

So my interview was at 10am this morning. I drove to the Sunset Transit Center to take the MAX in, since PSU is downtown & I didn't want to search for a place to park or deal with traffic. I was expecting to get on the 8:57 train, which would give me plenty of time to get there. It didn't come. Neither did the 9:05 train. I didn't wait around to see if the 9:12 train was coming. I hobbled back to the car (did I mention it's 28 degrees and windy today?) because I couldn't feel my feet & drove in. Surprisingly, there was no traffic & I got to campus quickly. I found a parking space, but I needed to put money in the meter. I had dumped all my change on the table last night for the tip at dinner. I searched my car and surprisingly found enough money for two hours.

The interview wasn't too terrible. I feel like I could have said more intelligent stuff, but I think that as long as I said enough intelligent stuff for them to write down, it doesn't matter how many "um's" and "uh's" I said. Right? Either way, I'll know in three weeks.

Stress

Last week I won tickets to see a play through KINK, the radio station that I listen to when I listen to the radio and not my brand new IPod that my wonderful husband bought me for Valentine's Day (just had to add that). I had to reschedule one of my home visits in order to go to the play.

I picked Paul up from work last night, drove to the MAX and took the train into town. When we got there, I realized that I'd left the tickets in the car. I almost started crying, but since my husband is the clear thinking one of the bunch, we went to the PCPA (Portland Center for the Performing Arts) to see what they could do for us. When I got there and told them that I was an idiot and that I'd left the tickets in the car, the woman looked me up on the computer.

"That's not your only problem," she told me.

"Why?" I asked, thinking that there were no more seats.

"Because your tickets were for yesterday's performance," she replied.

OK, so I'm a little stressed out about this grad school thing and can't remember anything. I was trying to tell Paul a story last night and forgot half of my vocabulary. I honestly couldn't remember the word "offended."

In the end, the woman gave us new tickets. That was sweet of her. If she hadn't it wouldn't have been a big deal, I would've felt just as stupid as always. The play was funny. It was called "The Intelligent Design of Jenny Chow." If it ever comes to your area, go see it. I reccommend it. And if I reccommend it, then you know it's good shit.

So today is the day. After today I will stop being a stressed out crazy bitch.
OK, well, that was a flat out lie, but I'll say anything right now if it means I'll get into grad school.

Grad School Interview

So after a couple weeks of feeling sick and imagining that I won't get into grad school, I got my letter for my interview yesterday. I did a little dance by the mailbox, then nearly threw up when I realized that I would have to talk to people. Hali said she'll help me pick out an outfit to wear. We'll have to make a date soon. I'm starting to fantasize, but I need to hold off until I actually get in. Either way, I have an interview, and I don't have to go to work on Friday!

In other news, my wonderful hubby bought me an Ipod for valentine's day. I have to be very careful not to break the bank downloading music from Itunes now. It will be difficult.

We're off for the "Worst Day of the Year Ride" today. Luckily, it's supposed to be sunny & in the 50's. We're doing the 40 mile loop to Hillsboro. The Lucky Lab will be a welcome sight when we're done.

Grad School Application

So, I finally finished it. After weeks of avoiding the writing of my essay and cover letter, followed by a day of whining, crying and fighting with my husband, I finished the application and mailed it in.

Now I sit and wait....and wait... and wait.....

And hopefully I won't get an ulcer in the meantime.